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GWLF!

Johnny's Get Walter Laid Fund


 

Oh Johnny!  
        Er, I mean, GWLF!

Anne Hathaway proudly supports the GWLF.

The following is meant to be taken with a grain of Kosher and/or sea salt.  No intention to be mean...

Do you ever get the impression that Walter is acting strange?  I mean, he breathes, walks, and, yes, even sleeps on some occasions.  This is not normal behavior and has let us to conclude that he needs to get... well... a little some some... Which is why we have started the Get Walter Laid Fund (GWLF).

With YOUR help we can give that little some some to Walter. 

There are girls out there who wouldn't mind a little time with Walter, but the problem is that Walter wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole (and for some, a fifty-foot pole).  So our goal is to raise enough resources (ah, who are we kidding... we need money, cash, moolah, cha-ching) so we can get a more ideal.... setting for Walter... then maybe he'll accept the invitations from the girls...

So what settings are we talking about?  Well, courtesy of Viva Las Vegas Villas, we have narrowed the choices down to these (so see a tour, visit the link):

1)  Camelot--This room would make Walter live out a "Princess Bride" kind of fantasy.  With a knight in the room, things could get kinky... And check out those air vents!

2)  Gothic--He may not know it, and he'd deny it if asked about it, but Walter has a dark side to him.  In this room, with a (scary) face on the ceiling and painted blinds would remind Walter of the hot chick in "Interview with a Vampire."  Now all he'll need is a good whip...

3)  Gangster--If Walter just feels like getting it over with and wants more of a dark alley setting, this is for him.  Online one recorded death in this room since 1999, when the man who kept the records mysteriously disappeared.

4)  Intergalactic--Yeah... okay... maybe this room won't help... but hey, if YOU don't contribute to the GWLF, then this will be all we can afford...

All it takes is 30 cents each hour.  Can't you afford that?  Just look in parking lots and  couches and you're bound to find enough loose change to help a worthy cause.

So please, men, women, children, robots:  Send your contributions in today because the longer it takes, the harder it will be to save Walter from the abnormalities of breathing, walking, and sleeping.  Help him out today!